Sunday, October 31, 2010

the complex book of faces

Do you remember older generations -- whether it be our parents or grandparents -- telling us about how after you graduate high school there will be so many people you'll never have to worry about or see again? ... Well, I remember, because in all truth I was looking forward to it. Not that I never wanted to see anyone again, and it's not like I didn't have my friends that I wanted to continue to see. But let's face it -- we all have those people that we wouldn't mind forgetting about.

Well, thank you Facebook, you destroyed another social script for the human race once again. Because those people I was talking about, yanno, the ones we all want to forget about?? No longer an option. Make no mistake, they'll be on your Facebook page whether you chose to delete them or not. They pop up in pictures and comment on people's statuses. Facebook is so creeper-friendly that you can't get away from them.

Now let me backtrack. I know I sound pessimistic and rude... carrying on about people I never want to see again...

But let's think of it in a different way.

When I used to go shopping with my mom we always ran into SOMEONE she knew. She was always pleasantly surprised because she hadn't seen that person in so long, and who doesn't like the warm feeling you get when you see someone you haven't in sooo long?

Facebook killed that feeling.

Now we randomly run into people on Facebook. And we're interested in people so we creep. Pretty soon we know more about people we haven't seen in 5 years than we do about our friends that chose not to succumb to Facebook.

It's sad and it's awkward. Because when you do run into that person in real life, and they tell you a little tidbit about themselves, it sad because Facebook probably already informed you. For example, you probably already knew that they broke up with their boyfriend of 5 years and they are fighting over the cat they bought together and why does life have to be so hard? .... So when they mention it to your face, it's awkward. You have to pretend you don't already know... and if you're anything like me, you're a horrible liar, and they can tell you were creeping just 5 hours earlier because of the look on your face. You almost want to tell them that their ex posted on their Facebook status that they flushed the fish you bought them down the toilet.

And who hasn't made the Facebook Slip?!

Ya'll know what I'm talking about -- someone tells you something and you reply "Yeah, I know," to both their shock and yours. Because they know they didn't tell you... and then they want to know how you know.

Reply?

If you're quick on your feet you might make something up. Or you'll panic, and say Facebook. Ultimate creeper? No, not really. We all do it, but it still sucks to bring attention to it.

Pointblank... Facebook makes every aspect of our life more complicated than it needs to be, even 5 minute hellos at the grocery store.