Wednesday, October 13, 2010

maybe life was better when I was five...

I remember when people were just people. The good ol' days. People weren't married/divorced, Democrat/Republican, rich or poor. People did not have mental disorders and people were not good or bad. People were just people, at least in my eyes.

Most people can't remember back that far, back enough when all of the judgments placed on people did not matter. The sole reason they did not matter, is because I did not know what they were. My friend was crazy, sure, but I did not feel the need to make a mental diagnosis of what disorder he might have. That was just his personality. Ah, the good old days.

I would not spend my days talking about a friend that just recently got divorced, and divorce would not taint a person in my mind. Hell, in my family divorce was normal, so wasn't it normal for everyone's family? What is the difference anyways? Did it really matter? Not to me, not to a child.

It might strike many people as normal to judge people... but if you look around, you'll start to notice how much we actually do it, how easy it is, how we don't even think about judging... it just happens. Why can't we get back to that point in our life where things did not matter? When playing on the playground was fun, whether you were with a girl of a difference race or not. I mean, my sisters were always too cool to play with me, so I considered finding any friend in any form on the playground as a good day. A day I wouldn't be so lonely.

Ah, there it is, the big L word. And no, I am not talking about Love. I'm talking about loneliness. Own up to it, we've all felt it. And it sucks. But think about it... maybe we all wouldn't be so lonely if were weren't so concerned with how we pick our friends. Walking across campus, I mentally think to myself -- "sorority girl", "what is she wearing?", "oh, he must be an engineer." So yes, I am not perfect, and I'm guilty of quick judgments as well.

At the same time, I don't consider myself as someone who makes friends easily. I feel awkward. But maybe if I wasn't so concerned with things such as if some one is in a sorority or what kind of clothes they are wearing, maybe I'd have more. Maybe I would be able to rely on more people, and kill the loneliness. I could go back to being that girl that just wanted a friend, no matter who they were.

I do not know why society is the way it is. I do not know why things such as sexuality, racial background, clothes, and hell, even hair color are so important. I do not know how we, as human beings, became so programmed to tick off judgments as we walk across campus. And if you think you don't, catch yourself next time and what your thoughts are. We all have them, because we grew up this way.

We need to get back to the place we were when we were kids. Before our culture molded us into being the human beings we are today. The people who are scared, who talk about other people because they are scared to be talked about first. The people who need to use facebook to post how they feel about the world because they are afraid to do it in real life. The people who are so disconnected with each other because of these tiny judgments that put us in categories.

In light of recent events, discrimination is no longer only a racial problem. It is a political party problem, a sexuality problem, a religious problem, and more importantly, an everyday problem. Let's get back to where we were before we became so "educated". Before the world was so tainted. Before we cared.

Let's be those people again, those people just looking for friends. Because friends make the time pass, they make us laugh, the make us imagine, they make us better people.

Let's stop the cattiness, it is only halting our own productivity. The world is in bad shape. Maybe if we could all just forget for a little bit how to fit people into categories, we could understand each other for who we are, not for the labels we've created.