Wednesday, November 30, 2011

4 Trends I wish NEVER came back (But unfortunately did...)

1. Blood Red Lipstick
Or any dark colored-standout lipstick. Trust me, you stand out. But only because I'm wondering why you are in your twenties and still playing dress-up with your grandmother's make-up. Plus, at one point throughout the night you're sure to get a lipstick stain on your tooth, and that just makes it painfully awkward for the rest of us. Lastly, if you're following Gaga's latest advice and thinking it's sexy to see your lipstick smeared on your guys face...well, you're more likely to look like Edward Cullen at the end of the last Twilight flick (anybody else wondering why he couldn't just wipe his damn face?). 

2. Anything 70s Influenced
I don't know about you, but I wish the 70s would stay tightly tucked away in the past. I'm not sure what the decade ever did to me, but to be honest, I'd be happy if we did away with the whole thing. Just wiped it clear from the timeline. Something about bell-bottoms, disco shirts, and platform shoes just cause me to shake involuntarily. Ugliness will do that to you. So, when I see bell-bottoms are once again sneaking themselves into to magazines, I want to just tell them to stop crashing the party. I mean, how many times as a culture can we bring back one trend until we realize there's a reason it went away in the first place?
3. Leather Leggings
The 80s called them leather pants, we call them leather leggings, I call them repulsive. Actually, I saw the Kardashians' new line and they went so far to mix suede and leather -- the two most beastly fabrics -- together in one pair of leggings. Make it stop, please.

4. Blunt Bangs
I have to say, some people can pull them off. Like celebrities and models. Otherwise, you look like you're two. Something about bangs just takes me back to my childhood where everyone had the straight across bangs, because face it -- they look good where they belong, on kids. Maybe I've just always held resentment because I have a giant cowlick in the front of my hair and bangs were just never an option. Either way, hate them.